Okay.....well if anyone read my blog yesterday, they are probably thinking I'm quite the petty, self-centered person. But, as I said at the end of my blog, I'm done with that. It is almost a relief for my birthday to be over so I can move forward! (at least until Mother's Day and that is a whole 'nother story!)

So, probably part of the reason I was down yesterday was due to my week. One of my best friend's daughters (age 8) was diagnosed with Leukemia on Wednesday. It was shocking and life-changing news.

To let you know how close I am to my friend, she is my "go-to" buddy. She is the one I call on when I need help or vice-versa. She is the one I call when I find a really good Bible verse because I know she will appreciate it. She is the one that I will talk to for an hour about absolutely nothing and everything. Do you know what I mean?

She is also one of the most compassionate people I have ever known. She actually cried when she saw me after my nasal surgery a couple of years ago. (I did look like I had been ran over by a train.) For this reason, my heart is breaking for her. Of course, my heart is breaking for her child, but I guess I'm looking at this whole thing from a MOM'S point of view. It is absolutely the worst thing I can think about going through as a mom. Feeling helpless, while watching your child suffer.

The good news is that the drs. have given them a 96% cure rate for her kind of leukemia. That is great news because in the 80's the cure rate was 22% or something along those lines.

However, this still does not change the fact that my friend's daughter has blood cancer. And, it doesn't change the fact that she will undergo chemotherapy and many painful procedures the next year to 3 years. I just wish that I could jump in and help my friend as she goes through this. The most that I can do is pray, be there for her whenever she needs me, and pray harder.

The great news is that her and her husband know Christ as their personal Savior. They know that "He works everything to the good of those who love Him" (Rom 8:28). In fact, I feel quite sure that God will use this experience in their lives to reach a lot of people for His kingdom.

Well, today is my 36th birthday. I pretty much felt sorry for myself all day.

My well-meaning husband, who is currently out-of-town, sent me a "happy birthday" text at 6:30 am. Usually I would be up by then, but I happened to sleep very poorly and was probably getting the best sleep of the night about then. Then, I couldn't even do my morning devotion because one of my children slept on the couch, and the other one was in my bed. So, there was no comfortable place for me to go. Next I decided to check my checking account online and then pay bills. Probably not the best idea to do on your birthday morning. I then started on washing the never-ending laundry that 6 people living in one household create. During all of this, my 5 and 7 year olds (finally awake) never acknowledged my birthday (of course not!) which made me feel even sorrier for myself. Pathetic, I know.

Next, I went to run errands - bank, post office, dollar store, etc. Nothing fun and nothing for ME!!! During this time my husband called and asked me if I was having a "good birthday morning". Well, I resonded with "it's just not that big of a deal", which he responded with "wow, your finally getting it"......what? He actually was agreeing with me? Didn't he know that he should've responded with "Don't be silly.......it IS A BIG DEAL"....So, then I got huffy and ended that call.

So, the rest of the day got better. I went to my daughter's soccer game, took a nap (that was the best part of the day), and then went to church this evening. It was an awesome service, but, none-the-less, I still felt slightly sorry for myself.

Here's the reason and my dad pointed this out to me yesterday. When I was growing up, BIRTHDAYS were a BIG DEAL. And I made my family celebrate my birthday for the WHOLE week!!! I really thought it was pretty special that this was the day I was BORN however many years ago. But not anymore. I have four kids. I have lots of obligations. They don't just stop and marvel at the fact that I happened to be born 36 years ago.

I should interject here that I had lots of friends and family call me and text me a happy birthday....which was really nice!

So, as of right now, I'm pretty much over this whole deal. Not that next year I probably won't feel sorry for myself again, but for '09 I'm done. I'm going to go crawl in bed with my box of sweetearts and read........now that's a pretty good way to end my birthday!

Oklahoma on Fire

Well, yesterday our state was on fire. Literally. I have lived in Oklahoma all of my life and I have never seen it so windy......and I've seen LOTS of windy days. To make matters even more exciting, my four children all had outdoor sporting events - from 5 pm till about 9 pm. So, we got to have the dirt blowing in our eyes for a good four hours. I actually wondered if the wind gusts could pick up my 5 yr. old and blow her away?!

So, after finally coming home from the ballpark and getting everybody's teeth brushed, books read, showered, etc., I finally flipped on the news. I could not believe what I was seeing. Fires everywhere!!! And, unfortunately, within 5 miles of my mom's house. I called and checked on her and, sure enough, they had bags packed in case of an emergency evacuation. Luckily, they never had to evacuate and their house is still standing!

Anyways, I was just thinking of all of the catastrophes that have been occurring........tornadoes (our own neighborhood was hit in February), floods, earthquakes, fires, etc. It is quite frightening, really, when you see some of these things happen so close to home (in the case of the devastating tornadoes - about 2 blocks!).

But, then this passage from Isaiah came to mind:

Isaiah 43: 1-5

"Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior...Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give nations in exchange for your life. Do not be afraid, for I am with you...."

I am just so glad that I have God's Holy Word to remind me that He is ALWAYS with me. I never have to be afraid because He is right there by my side.

Well, I finished 2 Chronicles this morning. Pretty glad, but as I've said in previous posts, I got more out of it than I would've thought. This morning was really no exception.

After reading all about how good King Josiah was (chs. 34 - 35) and how he truly sought the Lord, once again we move on to the kings that forget all that their predecessor had worked for. So, Josiah's sons become kings that once again set up pagan worship, followed "detestable practices", and "defiled the temple of the Lord".

Now, this is where I got interested this morning. Ch. 36, vs. 15-16, say that "The Lord, the God of their ancestors, sent word to them through His messengers again and again, because He had pity on His people and on His dwelling place. But they mocked God's messengers, despised His words and scoffed at His prophets until the wrath of the Lord was aroused against His people and there was no remedy." So, it ends up that God brings up against them the king of the Babylonians who killed a bunch of them and the rest were delivered into the hands of King Nebuchadnezzar.

So, I started thinking.....what about now? In the present time? Do you think God is getting fed up with us? It says that He tried again and again and that He had pity on His people, but to no avail. If God was sick of them, I can't imagine how He must feel about our world now. With unspeakable crimes, terrible greed, perversity like never before, and just a general not caring about God's Word in our society, what must He be thinking?

However, I will say this. Back in ch. 36, vs. 11 - 14, it talks about a bad king named Zedekiah. It says that he "became stiff-necked and hardened his heart and would not turn to the Lord.." Due to his actions, "all the leaders of the priest and the people became more and more unfaithful, following all the detestable practices of the nations and defiling the temple of the Lord..." So, if one person can have such an effect on all of those people (even though his was for the bad), it shows us that we, as individuals, can have an effect on lots of people, too. So, it is up to us to spread God's Word, teach others about Christ, and, in general, "let our let shine before others that they may see our good deeds and glorify our God in heaven." We can make a difference if we just show others Christ's love.

Read this if you want to be powerful and successful

Well, for not liking 2 Chronicles much, I sure am getting some good info. out of it! This morning I read more about the good kings/ bad kings. There were 3 main points I got this morning:

1) You need to WHOLEHEARTEDLY do what is right in the eyes of the Lord.
This come from 25:2 where the chronicler is telling about King Amaziah. He did some things
that were right in God's eyes, but some were not. And, as soon as he quit following the Lord,
he was killed! So, this tells me that God wants me WHOLEHEARTEDLY. Pretty simple.

2) As long as you seek the Lord, He will give you success.
This was in Ch. 26, talking about King Uzziah (vs. 5). Eventually, Uzziah became prideful
which is what led to his downfall (vs. 16). He tried to burn incense in the temple, a privilege
reserved only for the Levites (descendants of Aaron), and the Lord afflicted him with leprosy
(vs. 20). He then lived in isolation until he died and couldn't even be buried with his ancestors
but in a cementary near them instead.

3) You will grow powerful when you walk steadfastly before the Lord your God.
Moving on to ch. 27 - talking about King Jotham. Vs. 6 says that "he grew powerful because
he walked steadfastly before the Lord his God." Wow. That is pretty good information. This
was one of the few kings that stayed on course with God. No leprosy or sudden death for him.

So, from these 3 verses this is what I can gather: I will be successful and powerful if I walk steadfastly with God and wholeheartedly do what is right in His eyes!!! Pretty good recipe for success, but a little harder to carry out!!!

Fully Committed

Well, I'm reading 2 chronicles again. I'm actually reading through the Bible for the 2nd time and am amazed how much more I have gotten out of it this second time through. If you don't have a good commentary, GET ONE! It has made all the difference in understanding for me. However, 2 Chronicles for the most part retells 2 Kings and it is kind of boring me. With that said, I actually thought this morning about skipping on ahead to Ezra, but decided against it. much Glad I did, because I found some very good nuggets of information in my reading this morning.

First, I love all of the verses in the O.T. about seeking God and finding Him. I have actually started a list of all of these different verses - there are alot! So, 2 Chron. 15:2 "...The Lord is with you when you are with Him. If you SEEK Him, He will be FOUND by you, but if you FORSAKE Him, He will forsake you." And then again, vs. 12 "They entered into a covenant to seek the Lord, the God of their ancestors, with all their heart and soul." Vs. 15 "...They sought God eagerly, and He was found by them..." Wow. I love those verses. I don't know about you, but I am actively seeking Him. I am eagerly seeking Him. I want to be found by Him!

Second, this verse really stood out to me. 2 Chron. 16: 9 "For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are FULLY committed to Him..." So from this verse we can gather that a) He wants our FULL and TOTAL committment; and b) He will strengthen our hearts once He has our full and total committment. Isn't that awesome? Just picture God sitting up there scanning the whole earth (I picture Him with binoculars, but that is kind of silly, I know) for His children whose hearts are Fully committed to seeking Him! Can't you just see Him, looking from left to right "...nope, nope, nope, Oh, wait....there's one...bam! Heart strengthened...nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, Oh, wait! Another one! bam! Heart strengthened! I really hope when His scan gets to me He says "Bam! Heart strengthened!" How about you?

"Come with me and see my Zeal for the Lord."

ZEAL - that is my word for the day - it struck me while I was doing my morning devotion. I was reading 2 Kings 10:16 "Come with me and see my ZEAL for the Lord." The definition of zeal is: eager and ardent interest in the pursuit of something; fervor; and the synonyms are: enthusiasm, passion, ardor.

Wow. How many people do you know that are "zealous" for the Lord? I know some, but the majority of people I know are FAR from this. They don't even THINK about God. Ususally only when they need something. This makes me so sad. I was just like this a couple of years ago. God was certainly nowhere near the top of my priority list. But, through a series of difficult times, I started turning to God and His Word. It is funny how God does use bad things to bring us to Him. But, Rom. 8:28 says, "in ALL things God works for the GOOD of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." I really wouldn't trade any of the bad things that have happened over the last couple of years to go back to a life without God as my #1. I have come to depend on Him and His Word so much. His Word has become my "guidebook" and my "sword".

Now, having said all of this, I feel like I am growing more and more zealous for the Lord. I would love nothing more than to sit around and talk about Jesus and the Bible all day. The problem is that this makes a lot of people very uncomfortable. They think I'm a little crazy, I think. I can just hear "oh....she has gotten very religious..." What's funny is people can run around with sports team shirts, watches, car flags, cheeseheads, etc., and nobody thinks anything about it. Also, people can scream, cheer, and chant for their favorite athlete, movie star, singer, etc., and that is A-Okay. But, are we going around screaming, cheering, and chanting for the LORD of the Universe? Our God, our Savior? Our Healer, our Deliverer? For the One who gave HIS LIFE so that we may have eternal salvation?

The enemy, satan, is doing a great job in the world today of distracting people from the Truth. We have so many "things" to keep us occupied: computers, cell phones, everybody working all the time to pay the debts we all think we "have to have", etc. I hear a lot of people use the excuse that they just don't have time to read the Bible or even go to church. But, I think these same people have all the time in the world to check email, send texts, watch American Idol, watch sports, etc. I can't imagine what God must be thinking. He is probably so disgusted with us by now that He is seriously reconsidering the "flood" promise. The only thing is, Christ came and died for US.

As I have been reading in the Old Testament, it has hit me hard that here these people had actual signs of God - like fire, clouds, His voice, burning bushes, walls falling down, huge rivers being parted, etc., and they still fell away from worshiping God over and over. He actually dwelled WITH them! Just look at Adam and Eve.....they were in Paradise! Look at the Israelites.....God delivered them from slavery in Egypt and then they still grumbled and complained while in the desert. None of the Old Testament people had computers, cell phones, televisions, etc., to even distract them from God and they still turned from Him and worshiped other gods. So, how much harder for us to focus on God and not put any other idols before Him.

I hope no one thinks I'm casting judgement here. I am just as big of a sinner as the next. God views all sin equally. I, also, spend a lot of time checking emails, texting, watching t.v., etc. God knows all of our thoughts, He knows our hearts - we cannot hide anything from Him. God has taken me on this incredible journey the last couple of years, however, and boy how my "zeal" for God has changed. I didn't used to have hardly any, and I can only hope that I will continue to be more "zealous" for the Lord. But, the key to all of this, is that God has been working in me. I haven't really done anything. The only thing I did was make a decision to spend a little bit of time every morning reading the Bible and praying. At first, it was really very boring. Now, 2 years and 3 mos. later, I can't wait to dig into my Bible and learn more about my Savior. Phil. 2:13 says "For God is working in you, giving you the desire and power to do what pleases Him."